It’s been two months since this precious baby has entered our family and not a day goes by that I don't marvel at the luck we've had. I pinch myself thinking what did I ever do to deserve such a beautiful gift and what an honor it is to be a mom! That being said, I've learned that some days are easier than others with a new baby. I know any parents reading this will understand. There are some (scratch that. Most) days you feel completely exhausted, emotionally and physically. Like you've been on the roughest ride and you've worked SO hard but you've accomplished absolutely nothing. Do you know those days? Today was a particularly difficult day...I'll start by saying we've been trying to start the nighttime routine after some prodding from the pediatrician. It hasn't all been smooth sailing. We have been sleeping with Ruby in our bed since the beginning. While this has helped to calm my nerves about the big, hairy, always on my mind, new-mom's-most-terrifying-nightmare: SIDS; it hasn't done much to help with the exhaustion. News flash: it’s harder to get good, restful sleep with a newborn in your bed. Well the pediatrician said to kick the kid to the curb (his words) and put her in the other room with the monitor. After a couple of days and some convincing from the husband I agreed to try the bassinet next to the bed (baby steps and all that). The first night was amazing. My sweet baby slept for 5 hours straight before gently fussing for her bottle, ate, burped, and went right back to sleep for another 4 hours! It had to be the best sleep all of us had since she was born and I was converted. Well, last night wasn't as easy. You see, the trick is to give her the last meal around 8:00 and then keep Little Miss awake and active until bedtime. This way she's tuckered out and sleeps like...well, a baby. Miss Ruby decided instead that she wanted her meal at 6:00 last night and could not be persuaded otherwise. As much as you try, you cannot keep a sleepy baby awake for 4 hours (at least not ours) so we gave in and put her to bed at 7:30. This started a chain reaction throwing the whole night off and starting my morning at 4:00 am with a clingy, fickle, and impossibly-fussy baby (Only made worse by the fact that my loving husband had an ultra-late day at work, leaving me alone with said rascal for longer than usual).
All day long my perfect angel has been acting like I am the bane of her existence. She’s fussed, cried, growled (yes, growled), and blessed me with that red-in-the-face, mouth wide open without sound for a second and then the most miserable screaming that rips a mom's heart right out...all day long. I tried what seems like everything: standing, sitting, rocking, bouncing, singing, sitting in the dark, going outside, giving and taking away her soother, changing, bathing, massaging, swaddling, feeding, burping, and cuddling her, holding her in EVERY possible position (and yes, I took her temperature). No dice. I swear, if I could translate for her it would sound something like: "No mom, you may not feed me all at once. I demand my lunch be fed to me in two minute intervals between long bouts of screaming," "uh-uh-uh, I can see you're thinking about sitting down with me. I suggest you don't," "no mom, I will not be happy without a soother in my mouth at all times. In fact, why don't you just hold it in there for me? I can't be bothered to keep suction on it for more than 10 seconds," "what's that? You need to use the bathroom? Don't make me laugh," "oh yes, I did just fill my diaper like a champ. Let's see you clean that up without laying me down." I kid, of course. My baby wasn't intentionally trying to make this day more difficult for me (right?) and I'm sure this has been just as frustrating for her as it has been for me. At any rate I will survive this day even if I means staying in my pajamas all day, eating left-over chocolate cupcakes for EVERY meal, and (I cringe) leaving my teeth unbrushed.
*Also, if you're wondering how I had time to write this down with a crying baby in my arms; the curious child seems only to be happy while perched on my lap in front of the computer. Maybe the sound of the keyboard?... so there you go.
Update: It's almost midnight and my poor child is still fighting sleep with fury. Wish me luck that this horror of a day ends with a peaceful night's sleep and a much easier day tomorrow. After all, we do have a fun shopping trip planned at the market!
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